My IBD Life

fighting World of Can’t: Can’t sleep , can’t eat , can’t concentrate, can’t move , can’t breath , can’t calm , can’t live. Can’t understand the ignorance of the public perception. Can’t understand why those without IBD believe they know whats best for us. Can’t understand.

We all have those day’s of “Can’t” when you feel like your just not willing to deal with this anymore , those day’s where you wish everyone would just stop making the ignorant comments. “Oh you should eat this”, “You shouldn’t eat that”, “My cousin had that, he changed his diet and was fine , why don’t you do that”, “You lost weight?, Well I never see you eat thats why.”. “You should stop taking so much Tylenol,”. “Why did you miss school yesterday , you look fine to me”. “Your hair looks different,”. “Why aren’t you drinking alcohol, My aunt have Crohn’s and she can drink..” Or my favorite “Why aren’t you eating at lunch today?” (pardon my french but…) I swear to fuck and back if one more person asks me “Why aren’t you eating at lunch” “or says “Oh your not eating… thats not good for the disease you have.” I gonna loss my shit , I hate repeating myself to the same people everything day. How hard is it to understand that i CAN’T eat at that time of day, CAN’T!!!!.
My day to day answers:

  • I have Medication that I eat with around 9pm at night and don’t want to be eating all day long.
  • I get acid reflex if i eat at set time of day
  • I don’t feel like shitting this out during class time, K thanks.
  • I’m not bloody hungry!

I don’t want to deal with the pain of eating at school , its hard enough to concentrate with the pain i already have ,the joint pain,  the nausea and the constant fatigue..etc i don’t need added food in there to shit out an hour later. Just shut up about it! its not that surprising, honestly its just food. This people are going to drive me insane.

Breathing…

Okay i’m good now…back to can’t.
Yes always hearing or feeling the word can’t can drain on a person, I try not to dwell on all the things i can’t do and focus on the things i can, however went i can’t make it to school because I’ve been vomiting all  night or my joints hurt to much to walk there , or i just feel like otter shit in the morning, it doesn’t take its toll , I know people think i’m just being lazy , I Know i’m not. I Can’t let that affect me. I’m not going to let their perception of my IBD life affect what I do , it may at times affect how I feel non the less i am not going to push my self to hard, to the point where i am making my self sicker.  Sometimes i just need a day to build up strength. They will never fully understand that ,Those without a chronic illness like IBD CAN’T understand our life’s. It only makes it worse when they think they CAN.

Here is a update on my current health state, I am losing weight “unprovoked”, my hair is thinning out, I have a hard time eating anything, Have nausea most of the time , vomiting at times mostly at nights/mornings, the vomit has a foamy white/yellow look to it, at times there is blood. Constant fatigue, I have abdominal pain almost all the time ranging from 3 to 8 out of 10 , I am having more bowl movements then normal sometimes there is a small amount of blood in the stool,its not diarrhea but not solid either,
alternative-bristol-stool-form-chartbetween type 4 and 5 i would say haha.  Is that to much information?…Likely…oh well i don’t care.
I did get news back from the lung specialisti (believe there trade name is Pulmonolgis)..anyway i have a appointment with him on the 14th of March, still no exact date for the Colonoscopy it will be in February.

Thanks so much for reading , I’ll be starting on some Youtube videos soon , will let you know more about that in the future.

  • Follow me on Twitter for updates

Twitter: @MerandaRoben 

  • If you are a IBDer form Quebec then join my facebook support group

IBD support FB: Qc FB Support

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About MerandaRoben

I am a Freelance Photographer... You can contact me by sending me a message on facebook or by email at meranda-roben@live.ca Or call the number on the business card. The best ways to contact me is by calling the number on the business card or sending me a message on facebook. I enjoying doing all kinds of photography but i would have to say street photography is my favourite. I like to photograph events and work in event and family portrait photography, if you would like me to photograph your event or do some family portraits just send me a message or give me a call . I also enjoy writing and i'm going to be working more on my journalism skills. I want to become either a photographic journalist or a documentary photographers. Feel free to check out all my photos and give me feed back. I have been living with Crohn's disease since my diagnosis in April 2012. Through my work I want to be able to bring light to Crohn’s disease and show other’s that it is very possible to live a full happy healthy successful life even with the ups and down’s of this life long disease. I plan to start writing a Monthly blog on my rise to become a professional photographer it will be in titled “Rise to Pro: One Snapshot at a time” That will hopefully begin July 22 2013. By Now most if not all of you are aware that I have a form of IBD. I have one of the two most common forms of IBD, Crohn’s disease. I have recently decided to become an IBD activist in the form of a writing blog and I guess a “in person educator” if you would. I will be discussing everything that goes into my IBD life with this blog and when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING, All the detail of which some would be to embarrassed/scared to discuss in a public form I will write about in hopes that through this I will inspire others With IBD to be more open with them selves and be confident in who they are. It is entitled “My IBD Life.
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5 Responses to My IBD Life

  1. MerandaRoben says:

    Reblogged this on Photography By: Meranda Roben O'Hara and commented:

    IBD, Real talk

    Like

  2. Susan Brabant says:

    Meranda, try working with the disease in a positive sense. By that I mean, try to stress out less. You have the disease (lucky, eh?) you have to learn how to live with it, you can’t fight it or curse it away (yes it is a curse). After more than 30 years I feel a certain amount of control over UC and the miseries that go with it. I take 16 pills daily and watch what I eat (like a hawk). Finally, I have the disease, it doesn’t have me. Life is good, I’m 67 yrs old. There is hope! Cheer up!

    Like

    • MerandaRoben says:

      I do work with the disease in a positive sense that is why i write this blog and am active in the IBD community.I’m not a negative person, I am a honest person honest about how i feel toward things, I say what I as well as other are thinking, Everyone has those days of “Can’t” its nice for some to be able to read this and relate , we all get those annoying rude questions/comments, there not positive so why i’m not going to put them into a positive light. I write what i feel ,sure positivity is the essence of all happiness but in reality not all can be made positive i hope to help others see that its okay its normal to be pissed off about these things.. you don;t need to hide you emotions here! say whats on your mind the rest of use IBDer’s will understand 🙂

      Like

  3. Terri says:

    Good for you hun.!!!!! Theres nothing wrong in venting how you feel and being honest.i didnt remotely take it that you were being negative! Better out than in as we say over here!!! Lol.will never look at maltesers in quite the same way tho! X

    Like

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