World of Can’t: Can’t sleep , can’t eat , can’t concentrate, can’t move , can’t breath , can’t calm , can’t live. Can’t understand the ignorance of the public perception. Can’t understand why those without IBD believe they know whats best for us. Can’t understand.
We all have those day’s of “Can’t” when you feel like your just not willing to deal with this anymore , those day’s where you wish everyone would just stop making the ignorant comments. “Oh you should eat this”, “You shouldn’t eat that”, “My cousin had that, he changed his diet and was fine , why don’t you do that”, “You lost weight?, Well I never see you eat thats why.”. “You should stop taking so much Tylenol,”. “Why did you miss school yesterday , you look fine to me”. “Your hair looks different,”. “Why aren’t you drinking alcohol, My aunt have Crohn’s and she can drink..” Or my favorite “Why aren’t you eating at lunch today?” (pardon my french but…) I swear to fuck and back if one more person asks me “Why aren’t you eating at lunch” “or says “Oh your not eating… thats not good for the disease you have.” I gonna loss my shit , I hate repeating myself to the same people everything day. How hard is it to understand that i CAN’T eat at that time of day, CAN’T!!!!.
My day to day answers:
- I have Medication that I eat with around 9pm at night and don’t want to be eating all day long.
- I get acid reflex if i eat at set time of day
- I don’t feel like shitting this out during class time, K thanks.
- I’m not bloody hungry!
I don’t want to deal with the pain of eating at school , its hard enough to concentrate with the pain i already have ,the joint pain, the nausea and the constant fatigue..etc i don’t need added food in there to shit out an hour later. Just shut up about it! its not that surprising, honestly its just food. This people are going to drive me insane.
Okay i’m good now…back to can’t.
Yes always hearing or feeling the word can’t can drain on a person, I try not to dwell on all the things i can’t do and focus on the things i can, however went i can’t make it to school because I’ve been vomiting all night or my joints hurt to much to walk there , or i just feel like otter shit in the morning, it doesn’t take its toll , I know people think i’m just being lazy , I Know i’m not. I Can’t let that affect me. I’m not going to let their perception of my IBD life affect what I do , it may at times affect how I feel non the less i am not going to push my self to hard, to the point where i am making my self sicker. Sometimes i just need a day to build up strength. They will never fully understand that ,Those without a chronic illness like IBD CAN’T understand our life’s. It only makes it worse when they think they CAN.
Here is a update on my current health state, I am losing weight “unprovoked”, my hair is thinning out, I have a hard time eating anything, Have nausea most of the time , vomiting at times mostly at nights/mornings, the vomit has a foamy white/yellow look to it, at times there is blood. Constant fatigue, I have abdominal pain almost all the time ranging from 3 to 8 out of 10 , I am having more bowl movements then normal sometimes there is a small amount of blood in the stool,its not diarrhea but not solid either,
between type 4 and 5 i would say haha. Is that to much information?…Likely…oh well i don’t care.
I did get news back from the lung specialisti (believe there trade name is Pulmonolgis)..anyway i have a appointment with him on the 14th of March, still no exact date for the Colonoscopy it will be in February.
Thanks so much for reading , I’ll be starting on some Youtube videos soon , will let you know more about that in the future.
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